【167号影音室】《It Just Works！》

亚洛斯 · 发表于 2024-10-9 22:20:01

“贵安，欢迎光临167号影音室，”

“锦瑟华年映画屏，番剧奇谈醉梦萦。影视云中幻影轻。”

“曲韵悠扬心绪动，歌声袅袅入云庭。共赏风华共此情。”

“167号影音室，每~~周三准时~~相见。”
“这里是亚洛斯~”
“影音室系列的推荐暂缓，来点单曲推荐，这次带来的是控诉小陶的《It Just Works！》”

It just works！

演唱：CHALKEATERS

主唱：陶德·霍华德

合唱团：天际/辐射兄贵团

Please，welcome：The game director of Bethesda Game Studios，Todd Howard
现在有请：贝塞斯达工作室游戏总监，陶德·霍华德

Watch this：our newestrelease！
快看！新游戏出炉
The legendary series you‘ve missed for years
快侥幸你爷爷一起开嗨
Come back，get readyfor some action
准备再度飞上天际（物理）
Got double bugs in here，some broken scripts right there
Bug在左，坏脚本在右
The fans will fix it anyway so we don't care！
全靠粉丝修补，我们是不管！
They'll patch it throughmicro transactions
与微交易捆绑发售
So enjoy you nylon bag
好好享受你的尼龙包
Oh and boy，stop shittingon our swag
少再吐槽帆布跑哪去了
You're not getting anymoney back
想退款做梦去吧
You knew that was a one way wacky track
你们自知已上了贼船
Just shut up and have your nylon bag！
闭上嘴，收好尼龙袋
Coming up with it was real drag！
再等上几个月的快递
All proceeds got strictly to Vault Tec
收益都为避难所科技所有
So you're NOT gettingyour money back！
所以别再想拿到退款！
It just works，it justworks！
就是这么拽，就是这么横！
Little lies，stunningshows
小谎言，大舞台
People buy，money flows，it just works
粉丝买，钱滚来，计划通
It just works，it justworks！
就是这么横，就是这么牛！
Overpriced open worlds
价过高的开放世界
Earnings rise，take myword
我们得涨薪，别多问
It just works！
就是这么牛！
It just works！
就是这么牛！
It just works！
就是这么牛！
Our tech is cutting edge as far as I Can tell
我们的技术领先世界
The creation engine's aging very well
创造引擎如老酒醇又香
We're not planning ondoing anything about it
换引擎？做美梦，别想啦！
Skyrim's the limit，don't deny it
天际才是极限，你心里自知
See this mountain？You can buy it
瞧这座山，买了就能爬！
In the DLC for the price of a real mountain！
快买DLC，只要＄999
What's wrong with atrain in place of your head？
头上顶个火车？小意思没问题！
Come on，believe me，you've seen nothing yet
相信我，这还不算什么
The battle spaceship with the dragon animation
等着宇宙飞船长出龙的翅膀
Will become a new sensation on the Internet
引爆网络，成为新梗
Just shut up，give usyour every dime！
别废话，快掏钱！
Buying an armored horse is not a crime！
瞧这披甲码俊又帅
Our devs could eat the Shadowmere alive so…
咱的设计师能一口吞下“影魇”
BUY SKYRIM ONE MORE TODD DAMN TIME！
再多买一个平台的天际！
It just works，it justworks！
就是这么拽，就是这么横！
Little lies，stunningshows
小谎言，大舞台
People buy，money flows，it just works
粉丝买，钱滚来，计划通
It just works，it justworks！
就是这么横，就是这么牛！
Overpriced open worlds
价过高的开放世界
Earnings rise，take myword
我们得涨薪，别多问
It just works！
就是这么牛！
It just works！
就是这么牛！
It just works！
就是这么牛！
We don't want your endlessshit
别再喂我们无止境的狗屎
It's just not the gamewe need
这不是我们想要的游戏
Sick of looting useless junk
收受够了每天捡垃圾
Graphics making our eyes bleed
画质简直让我眼睛流血
We don't want your endlessshit
别再喂我们无止境的狗屎
It's just not the gamewe need
这不是我们想要的游戏
Sick of looting useless junk
收受够了每天捡垃圾
Graphics making our eyes bleed
画质简直让我眼睛流血
Now listen up！
给我听好
Welcome to the place washed by Iliac waves
欢迎大家来到髂骨湾
There's two and a halfpeasants with the same ugly face
这里的村民全是一个脑残样
You're not into smalltowns？Check out big-ass plains！
受够了小村庄，看俺大平原
50 times the size of Skyrim's，twice as many pointless caves！
50倍天际的面积，再多两倍的洞穴
You see，We at Bethesdaknow exactly what you want
你瞧，我们B社才懂粉丝的心
Hardcore gamers inspired us to improve shoppinga lot
硬核玩家启发我们要懂得交易
Now each lockpick must be bought for an actualten spot
现在每根开锁器都要10美分
And saving now is a paid mod for just twentya slot
每次存档都得再收20美分
You're never gettingbored，you'll have infinite quests
你永不会无聊，任务无穷多
There's every vagabondwill put you to the test
任务光标多得眼花缭乱
You'll be riched awardedwith infinite chests
家里的箱子里全是战利品
Full of rusty and used pregnancy tests
堆满了生锈的剑和验孕棒
We got rid of skill trees，they were old and lame
技能树过时啦，赶紧抛弃
Who needs a leaving system in a role-playing-game？
RPG游戏要啥升级系统
You came to slash and kill and save one morenation
玩家只想要砍砍杀杀，拯救世界
No more levels and skills，only degradation！
去他的等级和技能，把剑砍到崩！
It just works，it justworks！
就是这么拽，就是这么横！
Little lies，stunningshows
小谎言，大舞台
People buy，money flows，it just works
粉丝买，钱滚来，计划通
It just works，it justworks！
就是这么横，就是这么牛！
Overpriced open worlds
价过高的开放世界
Earnings rise，take myword
我们得涨薪，别多问
It just works，it justworks！
就是这么拽，就是这么横！
Little lies，stunningshows
小谎言，大舞台
People buy，money flows！
粉丝买，钱滚来！
It just works！
就是这么牛！
It just works！
就是这么牛！
It just works！
就是这么牛！
It just works！
就是这么牛！
It just works！
就是这么牛！
It just works！
就是这么牛！
IT JUST WORKS！
就是这么牛！

敬请品尝：

原视频YouTube：

晚好~这里皆是亚~
系列的推荐仍在选择中，所以来几期单独推荐，
正好昨天xgp过期，正好让我想起了当初发售时硬吃了30小时实在忍不住卸载的《星空》
然后又好巧不巧的看到了这首歌

~~（好吧，其实是我自己点开收藏去听的）哎呀，这歌真是常听常新，不知老滚6出来后会不会再新一次~~
这首为β社&陶德写的二创歌，最早于2019年发布在YouTube上，
为的就是控诉B社游戏的种种“缺憾”（玩B社游戏不得不品的一环）和陶德的画饼满天飞
“It just works”本身则出自15年超级小陶在发布会上演示时说的，
但由于宣发与实际糟糕的表现鲜明的反差，以至于这句话变成了对小陶和B社的调侃
而这首歌正是由此改编而来~
另外，小陶在23年放出了又一足以并驾齐驱的言论“So you may need to upgrade your PC for this game”
呃呃.......

FIN